A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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