Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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