12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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