you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
