see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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