I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think my fart just growled at me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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