i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
