If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
