So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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