your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
