That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
