At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
