I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
