so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
