I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
