No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
