glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Are we still banned from the library?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
