That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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