on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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