i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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