i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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