is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
