My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
