I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
