I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
