I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
