Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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