He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
