It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
