awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
