I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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