I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
