She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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