You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did we literally take a cab across the street
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
