its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is it penis luge time yet?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
