I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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