He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
