FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
