My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
