he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
