no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
