Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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