wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
