I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have feelings that need drinking.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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