JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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