I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
