If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
