Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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