Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Someone signed my nipple.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
