____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
